The 4-step application of the Universal Dialectic in Conflict Resolution to solve the following dilemma: Divorce or Not?
1. Pros and Cons. Table on the right lists the pros and cons of “divorce vs. shaky marriage”. The first 4 lines (green and pink) were obtained from ChatGPT by questioning the positives and negatives of divorce versus staying married in terms of adults and children. Spouses should add their own specific worries and requests.
2. “Control Statements”. The 5th and 6th lines (bluish) illustrate “control statements” of the following form: “a thesis without a positive antithesis gives its minuses.” Although each statement is quite simple, when combined, they help to look at the situation from a fairly broad perspective.
Table on the left provides the matrix of all “hybrid” statements of the following form: “X without Y yields Anti-Y”, where X, Y and Anti-Y are all Pros and Cons from the 1st table. For example, the top rightmost cell reads: “Divorce without the ‘Happy Family’ role model 3(F) causes children to become hostile to their future spouses 2(F).”
Pink cells denote statements that may not be obvious to parents who are obsessed with their own drama. Each parent must check all items that he/she or his/her spouse may not take into account. In this way, we can identify topics that require special discussion. (Grouping all Zs into clusters can simplify the task.)
3. Complementarity Matrix. Once all topics have been clarified, we can proceed with the “synthesis of the brighter future” matrix (enlarge). Every cell indicates probability of “synthesis” – a mutual complementarity and a better quality of being (from 0 to 1).
It represents two different views separated by a diagonal line. The uppermost right represents spouse 2, while the lower left part represents spouse 1. (The latter was modeled by ChatGPT, the input questions are given in the appendix at the end.)
To simplify the analysis, this matrix is divided into 12 quadrants. The meanings of each quadrant are shown in the table on the left. The first three quadrants reflect the opinion of the spouses about whether to get a divorce and why. Spouse 2 votes for divorce, whereas spouse 1 is concerned about how it will affect their financial stability and the child’s own future family (since children tend to follow the path of their parents).
The last three quadrants characterize the readiness to build new relationships and, in general, the “brightness” of the future. Both spouses are quite positive, although spouse 1 seems more pragmatic. It helps to plan future steps and relationships after a divorce.
“Sometimes divorce isn’t an earth-shattering loss. Sometimes it’s just two people waking up out of a fog.”
4. Shaping the Future. Regardless of what decision will be made (divorce or not), we can suggest some general steps that can unite positive sides of Divorce and Marriage. Table on the right shows that each pair of original statements 1(X) and 3(X) yields a new pair of “actions and reciprocations” (7(X) and 9(X)), that warn us of negative consequences in case of imbalanced behavior of any spouse (11(X) and 12(X)). These warnings are more direct than (5(X) and 6(X)), so they have more preventive power
All green statements can be further analyzed in terms of new “hybrid” and “synthesis” matrices, to predict more accurately the future
5. Success Story. The last step is uniting all positive sides (1(X, 3(X), 7(X), 9(X)) into a single “success story”. The following was obtained by providing just 1(X) and 3(X) statements to AI generators:
Hotpot generated image on the right
ChatGPT generated the following Mantra: “I honor the past, embrace the present, and create a joyful future for myself and my family.”
And a story: “After years of trying to make their marriage work, John and Lisa realized they were no longer happy together. With heavy hearts, they decided to end their relationship, but they were able to do so amicably, with a focus on the well-being of their children. Through the divorce process, John and Lisa discovered opportunities for personal growth and newfound freedom, leading to improved mental health and emotional support. As they co-parented their children, they found that their kids became more resilient and empathetic, and eventually, they were able to create a new, happy family dynamic that served as a positive role model for others.”
Another story and a spell in Appendix
Wiki-How: “combine plusses of divorce and happy marriage”
“We learn from failure, not from success!” ― Bram Stoker, Dracula
Dialectic in Conflict Resolution
Appendix. The probabilities of Complementarity matrix were gathered from ChatGPT by inputting the following:
Estimate probabilities (from 0 to 1) that the following pairs of theses will produce a synthesis (yielding mutual complementarity, a better quality of existence):
1) “Divorce” and “Shaky Mariage”
2) “Divorce” and”Opportunity, relief (1A)”
3) “Divorce” and “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)”
4) “Divorce” and “Improved mental health (1C)”
5) “Divorce” and “Financial clarity (1D)”
6) “Divorce” and “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)”
7) “Divorce” and “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)”
8) “Divorce” and “Personal growth (3A)”
9) “Divorce” and “Love, companionship (3B)”
10) “Divorce” and “Emotional support (3C)”
11) “Divorce” and “Financial stability (3D)
12) “Divorce” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
13) “Divorce” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
14) “Shaky mariage” and “Opportunity, relief (1A)”
15) “Shaky mariage” and “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)”
16) “Shaky mariage” and “Improved mental health (1C)”
17) “Shaky mariage” and “Financial clarity (1D)”
18) “Shaky mariage” and “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)”
19) “Shaky mariage” and “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)”
20) “Shaky mariage” and “Personal growth (3A)”
21) “Shaky mariage” and “Love, companionship (3B)”
22) “Shaky mariage” and “Emotional support (3C)”
23) “Shaky mariage” and “Financial stability (3D)”
24) “Shaky mariage” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
25) “Shaky mariage” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
26) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)”
27) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Improved mental health (1C)”
28) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Financial clarity (1D)”
29) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)”
30) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)”
31) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Personal growth (3A)”
32) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Love, companionship (3B)”
33) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Emotional support (3C)”
34) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Financial stability (3D)”
35) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
36) “Opportunity, relief (1A)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
37) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Improved mental health (1C)”
38) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Financial clarity (1D)”
39) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)”
40) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)”
41) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Personal growth (3A)”
42) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Love, companionship (3B)”
43) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Emotional support (3C)”
44) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Financial stability (3D)”
45) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)
46) “Freedom from unhappy marriage (1B)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
47) “Improved mental health (1C)” and “Financial clarity (1D)”
48) “Improved mental health (1C)” and “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)”
49) “Improved mental health (1C)” and “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)”
50) “Improved mental health (1C)” and “Personal growth (3A)”
51) “Improved mental health (1C)” and “Love, companionship (3B)”
52) “Improved mental health (1C)” and “Emotional support (3C)”
53) “Improved mental health (1C)” and “Financial stability (3D)”
54) “Improved mental health (1C)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
55) “Improved mental health (1C)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
56) “Financial clarity (1D)” and “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)”
57) “Financial clarity (1D)” and “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)”
58) “Financial clarity (1D)” and “Personal growth (3A)”
59) “Financial clarity (1D)” and “Love, companionship (3B)”
60) “Financial clarity (1D)” and “Emotional support (3C)”
61) “Financial clarity (1D)” and “Financial stability (3D)”
62) “Financial clarity (1D)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
63) “Financial clarity (1D)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
64) “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)” and “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)”
65) “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)” and “Personal growth (3A)”
66) “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)” and “Love, companionship (3B)”
67) “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)” and “Emotional support (3C)”
68) “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)” and “Financial stability (3D)”
69) “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
70) “Kids’ Opportunity for better parenting, relief (1E)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)
71) “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)” and “Personal growth (3A)”
72) “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)” and “Love, companionship (3B)”
73) “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)” and “Emotional support (3C)”
74) “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)” and “Financial stability (3D)”
75) “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
76) “Kid’s Empathy, resilience (1F)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
77) “Personal growth (3A)” and “Love, companionship (3B)”
78) “Personal growth (3A)” and “Emotional support (3C)”
79) “Personal growth (3A)” and “Financial stability (3D)”
80) “Personal growth (3A)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
81) “Personal growth (3A)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
82) “Love, companionship (3B)” and “Emotional support (3C)”
83) “Love, companionship (3B)” and “Financial stability (3D)”
84) “Love, companionship (3B)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
85) “Love, companionship (3B)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
86) “Emotional support (3C)” and “Financial stability (3D)”
87) “Emotional support (3C)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
88) “Emotional support (3C)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
89) “Financial stability (3D)” and “Kid’s Happiness (3E)”
90) “Financial stability (3D)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
91) “Kid’s Happiness (3E)” and “Kid’s Happy family role model (3F)”
Create a short story (up to five sentences) based on the following theses of seemingly opposing trends of happy family and divorce: “Opportunity, relief, Freedom from unhappy marriage, Improved mental health, Financial clarity, Happy parenting, Kid’s Empathy, resilience, parents’ personal growth, Love, companionship, Emotional support, Financial stability, Kid’s Happiness, ‘Happy family’ role model”
After years of struggling to make her unhappy marriage work, Sarah finally gathered the courage to ask for a divorce. It was a difficult decision, but she knew it was the best thing for her mental health and her children’s wellbeing. As she navigated the legal process, Sarah felt a sense of relief and newfound freedom. With the help of a therapist and a financial planner, she was able to regain her emotional stability and financial clarity. Eventually, Sarah met someone new who became her loving companion and emotional support. Together, they created a happy, blended family that served as a positive role model for their children’s empathy, resilience, and happiness.
How to unite the following benefits of seemingly opposing trends of happy family and divorce: “Opportunity, relief, Freedom from unhappy marriage, Improved mental health, Financial clarity, Happy parenting, Kid’s Empathy, resilience, parents’ personal growth, Love, companionship, Emotional support, Financial stability, Kid’s Happiness, ‘Happy family’ role model”?
(1) Prioritize healthy relationships. (2) Focus on personal growth. (3) Co-parenting: a healthy, happy environment for children. (4) Emotional support from family, friends. (5) Create a budget, work towards financial independence. (6) Love and companionship.
The actual response was much longer and not so articulated. When asked to summarize in just few words, ChatGPT responded: “Divorce can offer benefits like personal growth and improved mental health, while still providing a happy family dynamic with love, support, and positive role models for children”
Generate a short mantra and a spell that would help me to unite the following benefits of seemingly opposing trends of happy family and divorce: “Opportunity, relief Freedom from unhappy marriage, Improved mental health, Financial clarity, Happy parenting, Kid’s Empathy, resilience,
parents’ personal growth, Love, companionship, Emotional support, Financial stability Kid’s Happiness, Kid’s ‘Happy family’ role model”
Mantra: “I honor the past, embrace the present, and create a joyful future for myself and my family.”
Spell:
Ingredients: A small piece of paper, A pen or marker, A white candle, A bowl of water, A pinch of salt
Instructions: Light the white candle and place it in front of you. Take a deep breath and focus on your intention to unite the benefits of happy family and divorce. Write down the following affirmation on the piece of paper: “I am grateful for the opportunity, relief, and freedom that divorce has brought me. I am now creating a happy family that is built on love, companionship, and emotional support, and that provides financial stability and a role model of resilience and empathy for my children.” Fold the piece of paper and hold it between your hands. Repeat the mantra three times: “I honor the past, embrace the present, and create a joyful future for myself and my family.” Place the piece of paper in the bowl of water and sprinkle a pinch of salt on top. Blow out the candle and say, “So mote it be.” Keep the bowl of water and the piece of paper in a safe place, such as your bedroom or a sacred space, and repeat the spell as often as you like to reinforce your intention and attract the benefits of both happy family and divorce.